It seems like either I will have to become the first ever patient of drug resistant clinical depression, OCD, chronic insomnia that will heal herself [miracle] or I will have a breakdown. I’m living on average about 4 hours sleep at night and I fall asleep sitting up at my computer for short naps during the daytime. I also have a tablet I just use to play games on II doze off at that as well]. The severe insomnia is one of the reasons the depression got so bad last time. I don’t think your brain can provide enough of the right chemicals if it is deprived of sleep for long periods of time.
Definition of clinical depression and symptoms
This is a decent article on the subject of my diagnosis except that over the years mine became drug-resistant as well. That made it much more complicated leading to having to try every anti-depressant, new and old[SSRI’s], there were. Then trying the MAOI’s.-they had terrible side-effects on me. Then finally to save me from shock treatments. My psychiatrist had an inspiration. Three anti-depressants and a mood stabilizer plus sleeping pills I was on he added a strong tranquilizer. I took everything at night and it knocked me out and it took only a matter of days for the fog to lift. By that time I was walking into walls pushing pull doors and vice versa dropping things I had perpetual bruises on my shins from walking into things – never mind the emotional mess I was in.
I used to have trouble sleeping even as a child, I was always a night person – they say if you were born after midnight you would be one. I was born at 3:05AM. 25 Scary and Surprising Things about Sleep Deprivation
Oh and I was on a light tranquilizer during the day for the OCD which calmed it down enough so I could retrain my brain from those bad habits that was another story. And I was so scared that nothing was working…that’s probably where a lot of the anxiety came from.
It took me a whole day to write that….
August 1 saw him again after he’d cut another med down. It was pointless he wouldn’t listen he kept on lying about the Physicians and Surgeons ordering this, they haven’t. I researched it, I went to another psychiatrist and he was not informed of it. It was a lie. It also made no sense to cut benzodiapines for people not diagnosed with any heart problems and not on heart medication and then say you are doing it for the person’t heart. He may as well have said he cut mymeds to protect my hair. my gall bladder that has been removed or my lungs. It’s completely nonsensical so the only reason he can be doing this is to get rid of me as a patient, 18 years is a lonng time he’s had enough okay I will leave.